Frequently Asked Questions About Relationships

Q.  I am struggling with intense feelings of loneliness.  How can I deal with this?

A. Loneliness is a real thing.  It happens to all people, but especially to those who are abandoned by someone they love or who have had a loved one die.  Put simply, loneliness is part of being single, and it can be awful.  There is no easy way to deal with the feelings of loneliness, but here are some positive actions that many have found helpful.

1. Large doses of Bible Reading. This focuses your mind on positive, comforting things
2. Find a trusted friend that you can talk to of the same gender as yourself.
3. Get out and help others.  Giving is a blessed thing and it will take the focus off your pain.

Acts 20: 35 ..Jesus said "It is more blessed to give then to receive"

Remember, Jesus was a single person who experienced loneliness. (Matthew 26:40) 

Q.  I feel guilty about the mistakes I've made.  What can I do about these feelings?

A.  Guilt is not just a feeling.   It really exists.  When we do things that are wrong, we don't just feel guilty, we are guilty!  But because God loves us, we can have a new start with a clean slate.  Jesus became the solution to our guilty feelings when He took our guilt upon Himself at the cross.  By having a relationship with Christ, we can move from guilty to not guilty because Jesus paid the penalty for us.

Isaiah 53:6   "All of us have strayed away like sheep. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the guilt and sins of us all." NLT

Romans 8:1  "There is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus"

Q.  How can I heal from the wounds of divorce? 

A. The wounds of divorce are intense and painful.  Many times the divorce is preceded by years of suffering.   Often more suffering is inflicted during the divorce process and sometimes all of this continues years after the divorce is final.
The way to heal from this wound is to turn to Jesus the Healer.  Jesus can teach you how to forgive, how to love, and how to have hope again after surviving the living death of divorce. 

Jeremiah 30:17  "For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds, says the Lord."

Jeremiah 29:11 "I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Q.  I am single and I am suffering.   Why does God allow this?

A. God has not promised to eliminate suffering from our lives.  When Jesus asked His Father to remove His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, God chose to let it remain. (Matthew 26:39-42)   As we go through life, we make mistakes that bring suffering upon others.  And sometimes the choices others make do the same to us.  Many times, there are situations where we don't have answers as to why God allows things to happen.  But we can know, that God knows why.  He always has a purpose and plan that is playing out in our pain.  And God does promise to bring good out of suffering for those who love him.  Many people testify to the truth of Romans 8:28 even though they have gone through horrible experiences.

Romans 8:28  "For we know that all things work together for good for them who love God and are called according to His purpose."

Q.  I have been struggling with depression and it is hard to believe my life will get any better.  I'm even finding it hard to pray.  What can I do?

A.  Depression is a complex topic.  There are a number of kinds of depression plus numerous causes of it.  Many people have found during times when they are emotionally low, that prayer is extremely helpful.  Admittedly, when someone is feeling low they may not feel like doing anything.  However, if we will cry out to God for the strength, He will hear us.  God heard Samson's prayer in a desperate moment in his life.  God gave him his strength back as he prayed and I believe God will do that for you as well.  (See Judges 16:28-30)

Q.  Do I have to get married to be a complete person? 

A.  No. Being married or single has nothing to do with whether you are complete or incomplete.  God's love for you is the same -- married or single.  What makes a person complete is having a relationship with Christ. 

Colossians 1:28  "And we proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, that we may present every man complete in Christ." NASB

Q.  I am overcome with grief since my husband died.  Why did God let this happen?

A. Why questions seldom have an answer that will satisfy your relentless pain.  The death of a loved one can be hard to understand or explain.  Jesus knows how bad it hurts for He bore our grief and sorrow long before we knew what it was.

Isaiah 53:3-4  "A Man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief. . ...Surely He has born our grief and carried our sorrows. . ."

Notice Jesus is acquainted with your sorrow and He has already born it and carried it.  All of this was done for you on the cross so that when sorrow comes you don't have to endure it alone.  In fact, God knew that suffering alone could crush you.  So He invites us to receive comfort from Jesus who said he was sent to "heal the brokenhearted" (Luke 4:18) "to comfort all who mourn" (Isaiah 61:2)

Although friends, family, and support groups are valuable ways to process your grief, no one can comfort you or heal your heart like Jesus, the Man of Sorrows. 

Q. What are some parts of the Bible that would be helpful for a single person to read?

A.  All of the Bible is beneficial and uplifting, however, some good places to start reading are:
The Book of Proverbs contains wisdom writings that will keep a person out of trouble
The Book of Psalms teaches us how to worship and pray to the Lord.
The Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John will introduce you to Jesus.  Study His words and you will find instruction and comfort.